Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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