He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Randomize
