It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I came so hard my ears popped.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
