I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
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