my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
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stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
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Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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