I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
