Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Randomize
