i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Let's get the cat blown out
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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