if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Come share oat with me in your robe
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