what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
