using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
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