So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
