Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Randomize
