You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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