As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
