i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Randomize