You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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