At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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