I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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