operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
