What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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