Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
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