no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Randomize
