One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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