I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
You may now shotgun with the bride
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
