I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
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