I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
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