Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
