dude i'm inner monologue high
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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