Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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