Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
