Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
