u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize