Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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