yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
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