We're like a lot better than the average bears
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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