I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Randomize
