He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
