Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
