So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
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