Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
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