Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Drunk is a universal language darling
Randomize
