Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize