Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
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