Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Hippo gnu deer
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Randomize
