My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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