Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
