fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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