I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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