hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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