There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
