Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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