y did u give ur computer a hand job?
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Randomize
