where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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