my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
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