people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Randomize
