I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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