Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Randomize
