On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I'm passing your future prison.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize