cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize