do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
