I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
